


Baby Squirrel

by Hanthebeautifulsquirrel



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, No Smut, Parental bangchan, Platonic Relationships, Self-Destruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:42:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21930889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanthebeautifulsquirrel/pseuds/Hanthebeautifulsquirrel
Summary: Han Jisung is a fuck boy.Or so everyone thinks.In reality he is just a scared little boy who is trying to cope with the big bad world in harmful ways.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Han Jisung | Han
Kudos: 86





	Baby Squirrel

Han Jisung is a fuck boy. 

Everyone at JYP, except maybe Bang Chan, knew it and believed it. And everyone, absolutely everyone, even the janitors, had an opinion. 

Some were impressed. Impressed by how Jisung could get anything he wanted with a sly wink and a flying kiss. Impressed by how despite his track record, he could still get anyone he wanted. Most of them were just impressed by how beautiful his face remained despite his blatant self destructive nature. 

Others were disgusted. Disgusted by his disregard of human emotions and what they saw as his manipulative methods of getting anyone in his bed. They hated his lust for pleasure and saw him as heartless and manipulative towards those that he didn't have sex with. 

Some wanted him. Wanted to be the reason his chocolate like eyes which had grown hard from the cold harsh world melted from the heat of their love. But those people only ever liked the idea of Jisung, not Jisung himself. 

And others envied him. Envied how he could go around portraying signs of intimacy, how he could have so much sexual contact without getting kicked out of the company when they themselves couldn’t kiss those they loved without getting in some form of trouble. 

But Chan, Chan saw a 16, almost 17 year old kid. A kid who was scared of himself more than others. A kid that held so much pain and loneliness behind his adorably bright smile and ambitious shining eyes. Chan refused to let the cursing soundcloud boy go. He refused to give up on the ‘tough’ squirrel like boy because unlike anyone else in the agency, he knew Jisung's true character, or at least he had seen glimpses of the sweet vulnerable boy that laid underneath the persona Jisung adopted. 

No one, absolutely no one, had seen Jisung for who he is but Chan was sure as hell the closest person who had ever gotten to breaking Jisung's lie. Not many people can say they held Jisung as the boy broke down from loneliness. Not many people could say that they facetimed the boys parents just to talk about Jisung's well being. And absolutely no one could say that they held the boy's hand as he went to a health clinic to get tested. 

And it was because Chan was that nobody that Jisung did absolutely everything he could to hide his sex rumour or activity from Chan. He didn't want to disappoint the person he was the closest with, his brother, his idol. He did stuff secretly rebellious teens did like sneak out of the dorms after their parents had fallen asleep or had secret relationships. Contrary to popular belief, Jisung never meant to hurt anyone, it was usually him hoping for something more than a quick fuck or him trying to distract or cope from some grievance or sadness but it always blew up in his face. 

And that was what happened the day Chan took Hwang Hyunjin under his wing. Hwang Hyunjin was the rich pretty boy who had everything and was everything Jisung wanted to be. The same aged boy had just as many people wrapped around his finger as Jisung had but it was without the tarnished reputation and the constant bad mouthing. The black haired boy's dancing was always elegant enough to adequately portray a story every single time people saw him.

But of course that wasn't why Chan took the pretty boy under his wing, it was because he met the three criteria's: potential, character, and story. The last criteria always confused those who desired to get close to Chan but to put it simply it was people who Chan saw as an endless book with experiences, growth, and development still needed to complete the book. It was the imperfect that Chan saw as perfect. 

Jisung hated the loved boy, he hated how he had everyone around his finger without needing to do anything but just be pretty. He hated how much time Changbin would spend helping Hyunjin rap, he felt threatened. He hated how Chan seemed to care for Hyunjin the same way he would care for his own. It made him feel betrayed but he never said anything because he realized Chan had no obligation to take care of him, he never signed anything and wasn't his parent so really he didn't have to hold him when he broke down or tuck him into bed after a rough night.

He couldn't let his frustration known, although he was sure some could sense it, so he did the next best thing, he went out drinking with a couple of trainees he didn't really know but that really didn't matter. All he needed was to drink his problems away for at least tonight. He made sure his hoodie covered his eyes since Jisung was smart enough to make sure that if any pictures were taken that he wouldn't be shown fully. 

And well Jisung made a couple of mistakes that night. One being taking Chan's Australian friend Oliver to his room. He was so sure Chan and Changbin were out and decided fuck it, Oliver was handsome so why not? Sure he was 20 but he was sweet and maybe this could be the start of something long term. Afterall, Jisung was still trying to get over Youra. 

Youra, true to her name had soft skin that was silky to the touch and was as delicate as a flower. Her straight black hair curved inwards at the end creating a medium-short bob that framed her face shape perfectly. She had an amazing personality that made Jisung smile just thinking about her and a gorgeous laugh that Jisung swore created angels. 

Youra was the first girl that Jisung truly wanted. The first girl that Jisung payed attention too and took the time to learn about. He liked her but Youra was the only person that wasn't wrapped around Jisung's finger. After about 6 months of just getting to know Youra Jisung asked her out. But Youra regretted him. "It's because of the rumors isn't it. I'm not trying to hurt you Youra, I really do like you. I don't want sex, I just want to hold you close and call you mine." Jisung attempted to explain with a frustrated sign. 

And Youra had taken one of Jisung's hands and held it in her own as she explained. She explained that she never thought Jisung was whatever everyone said he was. She explained how so many people warned her about staying away from him but she didn't because she couldn't see him being to careless and because she didn't stay away, everyone thought she was sleeping with him already. Jisung had a place in Youra's heart but it wasn't the place that Jisung wanted. 

It was only later that Jisung realised that Youra liked Hyunjin. And much to Jisung's dismay, Hyunjin liked Youra back. 

Yes Jisung was jealous. He was jealous over how innocent their love was and how perfect they were for each other. He hated seeing the young couple holding each other's hand and exchanging soft short kisses when they thought no one was looking. He hated how the couple's eyes light up when they looked at each other. He hated how Hyunjin held her like she meant the world to him because Jisung wanted Youna to be his world. He hated Hyunjin. How dare that pretty boy come in and steal the three most important people he held dear to time. 

Jisung used that same frustration and anger as fuel for his sex drive. He used it to rip Oliver's clothes off of his body and kissed the older boy with passion. Oliver returned that passion by taking off Jisung's shirt and establishing his dominance by pinning Jisung down on the bed as he started kissing, well more like sucking, harshly down the younger boys skin. 

The two were so caught up with one another that either heard the knock on the door nor noticed the doorknob turning. Oliver had just gotten down to the button of Jisung's black ripped skinny jeans when a yell suddenly rang out. 

"Oliver! What the fuck do you think you're doing mate?" Chan's voice boomed as he yelled in English. "He's 16, you're almost 21, get off him!" Chan said getting increasingly more angry than before. 

At that point Chan had gotten impatient seeing Oliver still on top of Jisung so he walked up to bed and practically shoved the almost same aged boy off Jisung and onto the floor. 

"Hyung, it was consensual, I wanted it." Jisung pleaded and gripped Chan's bicep in attempt to stop the raging Australian. 

Chan sighed in frustration and turned to address Jisung. By then Oliver and gotten his clothes together and had scrambled out the door. Now it was just Chan, Jisung, and a long overdue conversation. Chan placed his hand on Jisung's shoulder and looked him in the eye sternly. 

Jisung shivered slightly from the intense eye contact but Chan's next couple of words would cause him to shrink into himself. "Again Jisung? Again? We've been over this before. You know you're too young to have sex. You're too young to know true consent. I know Oliver, I know when he's drunk and he wasn't drunk baby. He was barely tipsy, but Jisung you're tipsy, borderline drunk. I can see it in your eyes." Chan said frowning as he saw the bruises and hickeys scattered throughout Jisung's tanner skin. "I'm not having this conversation with you when your drunk. For fuck sake why are you drunk? You are drinking a glass of water and going to bed young man. I'm disappointed in your actions today but I refuse to let this go on any longer. I refuse to watch you waste your life away like this." Chan tugged on his hair slightly like a frustrated parent trying to stay calm as their teenage child had a tantrum.

"Get some sleep. I need to calm down and you need to sober up a little and reflect." He looked Jisung dead in the eyes "We'll talk to tomorrow. That isn't a suggestion." 

And with that Chan left the room. As soon as Chan was out of his sight Jisung broke down. He clung onto his childish little squirrel plushie and cried wholeheartedly into it. He finally did it, he disappointed Chan and it hurt so much. Jisung felt so many emotions that ranged from pure frustration to an unbearable sadness. 

This is what he had been trying to avoid, he was trying to avoid driving away one of the only people that still bother caring about his well being. So many thoughts flowed through Jisung head that he found the only way to fall asleep was truly to cry himself to exhaustion and force his body to shut down. 

The next day, the atmosphere between Jisung's and Chan's room was unbearably tense. Jisung didn't bother with breakfast as he waited anxiously for Chan to come into his room. 

When Chan finally did turn the silver doorknob the first thing he did was sigh. Chan sighed because of how red and puffy Jisung's eyes were, it hurt to see the younger boy in such a vulnerable sad state and seeing Jisung curl into himself when he sighed just made Chan frown deeper. He knew this conversation was going to be hard but he had put this long enough and that time in between clearly was causing more harm then good. 

Chan sat next to Jisung on the bed and waited. He wanted Jisung to start the conversation, to show any inkling of his true emotions. What he wasn't really expecting was an outburst, crying yes, but yelling? Jisung had never raised his voice in a serious tone before. 

"Hyung you're a real jerk." The younger boy started quietly. "You're not my dad so why the hell do you care? Why do you care if I have sex or get drunk or do some stupid shit. As long as I do well music wise it doesn't matter! Worry about Hyunjin or some other fuck that wants to be monitored. Any maybe I did really like Oliver, maybe I did want an actual relationship, does that not matter? So what if I use every pretty guy or girl, I can guarentee they enjoy it just as much as I do so just leave me alone...I'm not hurting anyone so just fuck off!" Jisung finished slightly panting, he didn't realize that by the end of his rant he had yelled out all of his frustrations. 

And Chan was trying to remain calm. He began speaking in a low serious tone. "Don't you dare tell me not to care. Don't you dare tell me I don't have the right to stop you from hurting yourself. I know I'm not your dad but Jisung to me you are family. And I'll do anything to protect my family even if that means I have to protect them from themselves." Chan's eyes soften abit. "You're hurting Jisung. You're hurting and I let you hurt yourself." 

Jisung looked down a fidgeted with his fingers. " 'm not hurting myself." He said in a quite voice.

"Yea you are baby." Chan said in a strained voice as he gathered the shaky boy in his more toned arms. "Throwing your beautiful body around like it isn't worth anything, drinking, smoking, your killing yourself from the inside out and it doesn't have to be like this."

Chan kissed the top of Jisung's head as he tightened his grip. "Maybe it's partly my fault. I should've looked a little closer and I'm sorry for that but this is going to change because you deserve so much more Hannie." 

Jisung kept shaking in Chan's arms and kept feeling the tears flow. He didn't know what to say but he felt so useless. All he could do while Chan hugged him was cry and shake and he didn't know how to make it better. What to say to make him better. 

But Chan didn't say anything either, he just kept stroking the younger boy's hair and rubbed his back. "I'm sorry I disappointed you hyung… I really tried. I really tried not showing you all my flaws because your the only family I really have here. I'm sorry…" Jisung said in a small voice as he found himself leaning into Chan's broader chest, almost trying to find a way to hide himself again. 

"But honey" Chan frowned and forced Jisung out of his hiding by using his hands to cup the younger boy's full cheeks. "That's not why I am disappointed, I'm not disappointed because you have flaws, I'm disappointed because you tried to hide them and they spiraled out of control. I want to help you baby. You have so much potential and I can see it and I want to make other people see it too. More importantly I want you to be happy and healthy so please tell me if anything is wrong. Please let me help you because I promise I will."

"It just felt like…" Jisung paused "I don't know. It felt like I was being forgotten? Faded into the background. I really don't like Hyunjin, he's taking everyone I care about. Everyone is paying more attention to him. Everyone." Jisung strained as he continued to hide himself against Chan. 

Chan continued his steady calm motion of stroking Jisung's hair. "It's okay that you don't like Hyunjin but I'm not asking you like him, I'm asking you to like Jisung. I'm sorry I gave you that impression when I asked him to join but I promise he's not replacing you. He's not Jisung." 

After a couple minutes of silence, other then the occasional sniffle from Jisung, Chan had concluded that Jisung had in fact run out of ammo for the day. 

Chan rocked the cradled Jisung gently back and forth like a parent does to their baby to get them to sleep. When he felt Jisung fighting sleep he interlocked their hands together and held onto the boy tightly because part of his was afraid of letting go, afraid of losing Jisung if he did let go. 

"Sleep baby." Chan said simply as he brought his unused hand up to cradle Jisung head giving his head gentle pants in the process. 

"Don' want to" Jisung said simply but Chan felt the boy bury himself further in his chest. " 'mm afraid your not gonna be here when I wake up". Jisung said quietly in his sleepy daze. 

"Oh honey" Chan felt his heart clench, he really had a soft spot the size of the sun of this boy. "I'm not going to leave you alone. Not now, not ever again. I'll be here when you wake up baby." 

"Promise?" Jisung said softly and hopefully, letting his true childlike age shine through. 

"I promise." Chan replied without missing a beat and with such certainly that he felt Jisung instantly relax in his arms. 

Chan kissed Jisung's head and with another tight squeeze he said with determination, "You're going to be just fine baby squirrel." 

And for the first time ever Jisung believed it and smiled a sleepy little smile.


End file.
